Equal But Separate

Even as many scholars and pundits deny the differences between the sexes and vastly expand the concept of gender, society is increasingly dividing along these clear and simple lines.

Mountains of data and broad-based studies show that men and women increasingly inhabit separate psychological, relational, and civic universes that interpret adulthood, authority, intimacy, and obligation in profoundly different ways.

The most visible sign of this cleaving of the sexes is the steady decline of marriage and childbearing. The share of U.S. adults ages 25–54 without partners rose from 29% in 1990 to 38% in 2019. In 2021, one-quarter of U.S. 40-year-olds had never married. Even as fertility rates continue to fall, the percentage of children born out of wedlock and living with one parent has risen.

This physical separation is mirrored in our politics, where the gender divide is now a prime determinant of party affiliation – especially among the young. The fierce tribal divide in America is not merely a clash of Democrats and Republicans, but also a contest between the very different visions and priorities of women and men. The growing antagonism between the parties increasingly reflects the distance between the sexes.

Once the central cooperative engine of civilizational continuity, the relationship between men and women is increasingly seen as a zone of tension, risk, negotiation, and withdrawal.

Some of this is due to the battle women have had to fight for greater freedom in the last 60 years, which, of course, has had many positive effects. It has not just expanded women’s opportunities in education and the workplace. It has also allowed women to imprint their values on a patriarchal culture that was long ruled by men – but this time increasingly for their own benefit.

As much as “women’s liberation,” as it was originally known, has been shaped by modern ideas about gender and selfhood, it has also given greater expression to enduring differences between the sexes. It is generally understood that men tend to be more aggressive, competitive, and individualistic, while women tend to place more value on cooperation, compassion, and safety. Various studies – especially those in egalitarian-minded societies of Scandinavia – suggest that the movement toward gender equality has allowed differences to flourish. As Swedish researcher Agneta Herlitz observed: “Some sex differences in personality, negative emotions and certain cognitive functions are greater in countries with a higher standard of living.”

A RealClearInvestigations analysis of this ongoing transformation suggests growing challenges not only for the United States but also for many Western and Asian nations, where this cleaving of the sexes is occurring. It’s undermining the traditional basis for stable families and communities and will have enormous implications for future demography, politics, and social stability.

Read the rest of this piece at Real Clear Investigations.

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Joel Kotkin is the author of The Coming of Neo-Feudalism: A Warning to the Global Middle Class. He is the Roger Hobbs Presidential Fellow in Urban Futures at Chapman University and and directs the Center for Demographics and Policy there. He is Senior Research Fellow at the Civitas Institute at the University of Texas in Austin. Learn more at joelkotkin.com and follow him on Twitter @joelkotkin.

Samuel J. Abrams is a professor of politics at Sarah Lawrence College and a nonresident senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute.

Photo: Tim Mossholder